Keeping the Peace
These days, one of the most common suggestions being made to parents is that they should concentrate on keeping peace in their homes. To accomplish this, parents are advised to avoid confrontations. Supposedly, it’s better to shut the door of a child’s messy bedroom than to insist the room be cleaned up. Similarly, parents are told to ask their children what they would like to eat for supper and make it for them. Why, say the experts, would you want to set up an unnecessary confrontation over something like suppertime which is supposed to be reasonably pleasant. Also, don’t insist your children do chores. Instead, pay them for any chores which they are willing to do.
This is nonsense. There is always a certain amount of friction involved in raising children properly. The fact is that children don’t like many of the decisions which parents are required to make. They don’t like limits and restrictions. They don’t like being required to do chores or help out with household tasks. Being insistent on these issues is a crucial part of the parenting job. Keeping the peace means learning how to insist in a quiet, assertive manner instead of yelling and screaming. It’s also important to take care of small behaviors. Overlooking the small stuff and dealing with big issues simply leads to big confrontations.
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