Should a Child’s Bedroom be Out-of-Bounds for Parents?
Your child puts a sign up on his door that says, "Private, Keep Out" and makes it clear that he (or she) does not want you going in his room. Should you respect his privacy? Well, yes and no. As with so many other issues in discipline, it’s important to strike a balance.
Certainly the sign should not keep you out. Parents are obligated to supervise their children and be aware of any activities that their children undertake. A privacy sign must not stop you from doing your job. There have been well publicized instances lately of children having weapons or drugs in their rooms and the parents weren’t aware of it because they wouldn’t go in. Similarly, if your child has his computer in his room, you must be there often enough to supervise who he may be talking to in the chat rooms and what kind of information he is downloading. If it isn’t possible to supervise this sufficiently, then move the computer to another part of the house.
On the other hand, your child should feel that he has some basic privacy, that people won’t walk in on him when he is dressing, and that they won’t be searching through his personal belongings. At the very least, knock when you want to enter your child’s room and wait for a response. Give them increasing privacy as they demonstrate self-discipline, trustworthiness, and respect for the rights and needs of others. With older children, talk to them about your obligation to supervise and listen to their concerns. Try to find some common ground where everyone wins.
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