May I?
These days, lots of experts suggest that you should overlook small behaviors. Supposedly, this will help you avoid nagging and scolding. This advice may sound good, but it ignores the fact that most of discipline’s everyday lessons are learned on small behaviors.
One good example of this is the phrase, "May I?" These days, very few parents and teachers require students to ask permission to do things. That’s too bad because it helps children learn important lessons about structure and authority. When children say, "May I", they are essentially saying, "I understand that you are in charge here and I need your permission to do things." It’s impossible for a child to say these two words and have a power play at the same time. The more you insist that children address you this way, the less argumentative and confrontational they will be.
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